Breakdowns and Regrets
by GrimLocke
Summary: COMPLETED Sakura breaks down for an unknown reason. Sasuke left confused and helpless. This is a story about his journey through it all and his mental struggle with this strange predicament. This is my first fanfic so I hope you enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Sasuke shifted slightly groggy from sleep clouding his mind. He wasn't quite sure what woke him up. He almost immediately noticed the usual warmth of his partner next to him was absent. Then he heard it. Soft sobs coming from the corner of the room. He quickly shifted upright to see Sakura curled up in a fetal position holding her knees crying softly. He swiftly got up from the bed and rushed to her side but before he got near her he saw her eyes. Terrified, and full of fear. She was staring off into space while crying. Sasuke came up and whispered "Sakura..." and wondered What's going on?. Sasuke grabbed her shoulder incredibly worried. Sakura slowly shifted her gaze to Sasuke her eyes filled with such fear. The she screamed. A blood curdling, bone chilling scream. She instantly pulled away from Sasuke's grip and when he reached for her again she screamed even louder shuffling away. Sasuke's mind was full of chaotic thoughts but only one thing made sense to him. Sakura was afraid of him.

So he called Naruto.

Sasuke? It's 3 a.m. what do you wa-"

"Naruto, I need you right away. And bring Hinata, its Sakura she's..." Sasuke could barely hide the anguish in his voice.

"We'll be right over."

Naruto arrived shortly after. Sasuke still worried out of his mind paced around the living room as Naruto went to see Sakura. Sasuke watched their interaction. Sakura still sobbing and curled up saw Naruto and became visibly relieved and stopped crying as Naruto held her in his arms. Once he had calmed Sakura down Hinata came in and gave Sakura some tea and comforted her. Hinata seemed to make Sakura calm down completely. No words were exchanged. Hinata took Sakura home with her. Sasuke was visibly anguished by this. She was afraid. She was afraid of him. Sasuke slowly sat on the couch. Naruto came up to him and patted his shoulder.

"She'll be alright Sasuke."

And with this Naruto left Sasuke in peices.

This is my first fanfiction so I hope you enjoyed it. Comment what you thought and if you want to see another chapter.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry I'm still new to this kind of thing so my chapters are short. I haven't yet made up a timetable for posting but I wil make sure I post once every 3 days when working on a story. Okay enjoy!

Sasuke woke up later that day still in a daze. He heard noise in the kitchen and he slowly lifted himself out of the bed and shuffled towards the kitchen. There was Sakura. Making breakfast just as she always did in her pink apron that matches her hair. She glanced nervously at Sasuke when she heard him entering.

"Hey..."

"Hello Sakura. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Her tone left no room for question that this already short conversation was over. He sighed and braced himself against the post of the doorway as he watched Sakura make breakfast.

They ate in total silence. Once Sakura had finished she cleaned up her plate and left.

Sasuke left soon after. He was skilled enough to have his distress not affect his work. He had a very long mission that day and he got home very late. Sakura was already asleep in the bed and so he quietly changed and called it a night himself. He was careful not to touch her as she slept trying to not wake her. Or to have another incident. He was on the verge of sleep when he was snapped awake, aware of his companion shifting and muttering in her sleep. Then they shifting became moving then she started thrashing around and screaming still asleep. Sasuke afraid she would hurt herself pinned her down so that she couldn't move anymore. This seemed to distress her more as she started resisting more violently. Any other man would have lost this war of strength but not Sasuke. She settled down a little bit. Then it began again. This happened for about another 10 minutes. Sasuke became increasingly worried and was finding it more and more difficult to hold her down. Her screams started to make her throat raw and her voice hoarse. After one particularly loud scream she woke up. She calmed visibly when she realized it was a dream. Until she looked up. She met Sasuke's worried dark eyes. He released her once she had woken up. Sakura's gaze was filled with fear like the night before. She then screamed a shrill scream full of fear. She scooted of the bed quickly and crawled away and returned to her fetal position that she was in the night before crying and sobbing and shaking harder when Sasuke moved closer. So he did what he had done before and called Naruto. It worked the same way as last time with Naruto calming her down and Hinata taking her away.

Sasuke sat on the coach and sprawled across it. His hand covered his eyes as he lay there helpless.

He sighed and glanced at Naruto when he brought over a glass of water.

"How are you holding up?"

"I'm not" Sasuke stated bluntly

"I hate seeing her so distressed and to make matters worse it seems when she has her episodes she's extremely afraid of me. I really don't know what to do."

"Sasuke..." Naruto said a hint of surprise in his voice as he saw a tear slide down Sasuke's cheek. Then another. And another. And another. The tears just kept falling. The Uchiha didn't seem to notice for sometime. When he did he sputtered "What are these infernal things?! Tears? You've got to be kidding me..." Sasuke quickly wiped them and when he looked at Naruto whose was just staring at him he said "That's the first time I've ever seen you cry."

"And the last" Sasuke said grimacing as he stood up.

"Wow I didn't think tears where part of the whole kill or be killed training?" Naruto teased getting up with him.

Sasuke walked across the room then, coincidentally threw a pillow from the couch at his head.

"Don't get ahead of yourself loser" Sasuke grumbled.

"It's kill or kill."


	3. Chapter 3

_This is the 3rd chapter of this series. I promise I won't drag this out to much long but please bear with me. I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

Sasuke was tired. He wasn't your plain lack of sleep and nodding off kind of tired, no Sasuke was exhausted. These episodes with Sakura had become a nightly occurrence. They always ended the same, Sakura afraid of him and Sasuke calling in the comfort duo of Naruto and Hinata. This seemed to work very well every time. Due to these episodes, Sasuke hadn't been getting much sleep lately. On top of that the stress was getting to him. His days were plagued with thoughts of Why is she afraid of me? Why can't I comfort her? Why won't she tell me what's going on?. He mind was muddled and he walked straight into Kakashi. Kakashi, with the ever present book in his hands, glanced up and saw his former student. He was standing next to Shikamaru who had become an adviser of sorts to the Hokage. They both took one glance at Sasuke and Shikamaru stated flatly "Bring him." Kakashi wrapped an arm around Sasuke's shoulder and dragged him off while Sasuke tried to resist. Kakashi successfully dragged Sasuke into a restaurant and sat him down. "What in the world do you think you're doing?" Sasuke yelled at the duo. Well he didn't really yell because he was in public and the Uchiha had manner drilled into him since he was a young child.

"Saving you from killing someone." Shikamaru said simply.

Sasuke gave him an equally confused and angry look demanding more of an explanation.

Shikamaru sighed and Kakashi decided it was his turn to explain "Sasuke... Let's not forget I used to be your teacher. Something's up and we can tell. Now if you don't tell us what's wrong I'll tie you to a tree again." Kakashi said this last part somewhat mockingly.

Sasuke ginned slightly at the memory. He remembered Kakashi tying him to a tree after a fight on the roof of the hospital that Kakashi had stopped just in time. Kakashi had then scolded him about what the Chidori was made for. Sasuke had said something along the lines about what if he killed Kakashi's loved ones. And he was given the only answer that had ever terrified him in his life. "They're already dead." Kakashi had said as he smiled. Sasuke's smile turned slightly sour and shuttered slightly when remembering this. Snapped back to reality he said flatly "Nothings wrong." As he went to stand up Kakashi muttered something vaguely like I warned you, while Shikamaru face-palmed and said "Wrong answer."Kakashi and Shikamaru promptly grabbed Sasuke by the arms and started dragging him away. It was quite a sight to behold. The 6th Hokage and his young adviser dragging one of the best ninja in Konoha around like a rag doll. They arrived at the tree. The very same tree Kakashi had tied him to years before. As Kakashi hoisted him up Sasuke grumbled something along the lines of you can't be serious and glanced pleadingly at Shikamaru. He just shrugged and said "this is you're problem not mine" On hearing this comment Kakashi tied the ropes a little tighter than he normally would have.

"Right now that's out of the way... Start talking" Shikamaru said his voice dangerously low saying these words.

Sasuke realizing that he wasn't getting out of this, he promptly told Kakashi and Shikamaru what was going on. Kakashi's eyebrows shifted upward slightly when mentioning Sakura's fear of Sasuke and nodded slightly as he explained about how S.O.S. Stoppers (this was Sasuke's nickname for the Hinata and Naruto comfort tag team).

"Well... That's quite the tale." Shikamaru said breaking the silence that had fallen upon the three

"Yeah can you untie me now?"

"No." they both stated firmly simultaneously.

Sasuke sighed and leaned back (or attempted to do so considering he was still tied to the tree). Kakashi shifted his glance to Shikamaru as he waved Kakashi off never lifting his eye off Sasuke. Once Kakashi had left Shikamaru spoke.

"Communication."

"What?"

"Communication. That's what you need. You obviously love her enough to worry as much as you are right now and there's a problem in your relationship right now that must be taken care of. If you can't communicate your feelings to her you'll never be able to get anywhere and whatever is happening between you too right now is detrimental to your relationship." Shikamaru took a seat next to Sasuke leaning up against the tree "She loves you Sasuke. This won't be easy. She will not be cooperative and you need to persevere through it. Oh, and you might want to have her get a sleep study and dream study under the pretense of something else. Tsnuade will help you out."

"I thought you just said that Communication is key? Won't that be lying to her?"

"Yes communication is key but even if you talk it out it's still a good idea."

"Okay then... Now can you please untie me?"

"No way," Shikamaru smirked.

"Why?"

"This is the only time I'll ever have control over you."

"Point taken."

 _Thanks for reading I just thought I would clarify something. In this story I have something called a dream story where you can see people's dreams. That's all I needed to tell you. If you like the story leave a comment and/or follow the story. More updates coming soon!_


	4. Chapter 4

Sasuke woke up the next morning. He was confused as to why he was sleeping on the couch. Then he remembered. Sakura had another one of her episodes last night. Sasuke after calling in the S.O.S. Stoppers (he was getting rather fond of that nickname) handling the situation. He had ended up falling asleep on the couch. He and his rumbled clothes dragged themselves off the couch and headed to the kitchen for his now morning ritual. Sakura was cooking in her apron as always oblivious to him as always. He always stood by the doorway careful not to touch her or approach her too suddenly in case of another breakdown. Sasuke had had it up to there with this so her confidently walked up and put his arms around her waist and rested his forehead on her shoulder.

"Hello to you too" Sakura said with a slight smile.

Sasuke was surprised. He was usually the one that initiated the conversations between them earning nothing more than short answers with no emotion.

"Good Morning Sak." He could feel himself involuntarily grin at calling her this.

"Goodness my back hurts... Sleeping on the couch was a not so great decision" Sasuke said groaning slightly when he moved his head on her shoulder.

Sasuke felt her stiffen. Ok ayShikamaru said communication he thought.

"Sak..." Her grabbed her shoulders and turned her around gently "We need to talk... And please don't brush it off this time..."

She said nothing as he took her hand and led her to the table. She sat down across from him and stared down silently. "Now... What's going on..."

"Nothing..." Sakura muttered "I'm fine and I don't need your help" Sasuke involuntarily flinched at the harsh nature of her words

"Sakura..." Sasuke said abandoning the pet name "Tell me." IT was Sakura's turn to flinch hearing the edge of steel in his voice.

"Nothing is wrong..." Her hands started to shake a little.

"Sakura..." Sasuke's voice got even harsher and more demanding.

"I SAID NOTHING'S WRONG LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sakura shrieked standing up and slamming both hands on the counter. "I'm going to work" Sakura said clearly annoyed. Then she walked out the door

Well that sure went well Sasuke thought morosely.

Later that day Sasuke kept thinking back to what happened that morning and got agitated every time. I was just trying to help he thought. He thought back to her conversation with Shikamaru the day before. He said she probably wouldn't listen and to get a sleep/dream study. No that's too intrusive he thought. He teetered on the edge trying to make a decision. Then as he thought back to Sakura slamming her hands down on the table he thought SCREW IT and grabbed his cell and called Tsunade.

"Hey Tsunade? Yeah it's Sasuke. Yeah I know you're busy and all, but I need your help with something."

 _Hello back with another chapter. Sorry for them being so short. Thanks for reading it so far. I have decided that I will probably have about 2 more chapters and then take a break until my summer vacation comes when I'll have more time to write. Thanks and enjoy your day(or night)_


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for reading this far. I'm really sorry for the REALLY late update but I haven't been able to find the motivation or time to write. This will be the second to last chapter. I hope you enjoy!

It had been a week since the call to Tsunade. And Sasuke was ready. He was ready for all of it to end. The late nights, the arguments and all the worry. He stepped into the hospital examination room. Beyond some glass Sakura was there hooked up to all sorts of machines.

Sasuke's mind wandered back to his phone conversation with Tsunade a week prior.

"Hmmm I see..." Tsunade said after Sasuke had explained his predicament.

"So can you do anything to help me out?"

"Definitely." Tsunade said voice cracking slightly because of a bad connection.

"Come to my office in five" Tsunade said

They had then planned the most outrageous plan in the world to get Sakura to come to the hospital. The plan started with Sasuke putting a disposable pill in her drink in the morning. This pill would make her in a couple hours very dizzy. Tsunade then took her to a hospital room under the pretense of an examination of her to deduce what had made her dizzy and faint. Then she would make Sakura stay overnight pretending that she wanted to monitor overnight. The plan was in action.

Sasuke snapped back to reality when he heard Tsunade's voice coming in from the room where Sakura was.

"What's going on?" Sakura said obviously still drowsy.

"You had a little fall and I want to keep you overnight for more information."

Sakura too sleepy to think about what was happening just went back to sleep.

It was 12:04 when it happened. The night had been boring and she hadn't had any movement. Then she started the cycle. First the small movements turning into wild thrashing. They had had the good foresight to put restraints on her when she was asleep per Sasuke's advice.

"Her brain is processing high amounts of fear..." Tsunade muttered.

"Bring up the DC (Dream Cam)." Tsunade said to an assistant that was on hand.

She typed for a second and brought up the video feed. And there was Sasuke. Well a much younger Sasuke. And a younger Sakura was there too. Karin was on the ground and Sasuke was telling her to kill Karin. But that's not what happened. Sasuke knew this scene well. He had played it through his mind hundreds of times before. There Sasuke was, about to kill Sakura. The DC also shows people's thoughts as well.

Is he actually gonna go through with it? Is he gonna kill me? He's gonna kill me! Sakura thought

Then Naruto came and saved her and the dream shifted . Naruto was gone and she was in her bedroom. Sasuke was there too no longer younger Sasuke. He held a knife in his hand and he approached Sakura. She started screaming and she was backing up until she was against the wall. Sasuke took the knife and took the flat side and glided it over her neck. his eyes were those of a stone cold killer. He looked her straight in the eye and then slowly slit her throat. She coughed and sputtered and clawed at her neck as the blood seeped down her neck. Then she woke up.

Sasuke stared blankly forward. He was vaguely aware of people talking to him but he didn't care. That was why she was afraid of him.

"I did that too her, Oh my god... She was going through this hell... I tried to kill her... he thought as tears started to stream down

Sasuke's mind wasn't functioning like it should. He mind was muddled of panicking and grief stricken thoughts. He mind was spinning and next thing he knew he was on the ground. Then he blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Shoutout to my friend who reads all of these and is extremely supportive. Thank you so much it means a lot to me and I can't wait for you to become my editor (I stink and grammar and conventions and such and so she's helping wig that)

Sasuke heard muffled voices nearby. He stirred slightly and then still not wanting to succumb to waking up. He tried to grip his blankets tighter, when he realized these weren't his blankets. He bolted upright and realized he was in a hospital bed. He was vaguely aware of the scent of tears and he almost unnoticeable dampness under his eyes. He panicked wondering why he was here. Then it all came flooding back. The nightmares, Sakura thrashing and Sasuke blacking out. His head started to pound faintly. He groaned as someone turned on the lights in his hospital room as they walked in.

Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat when Sakura rushed in. Sasuke couldn't think of a thing to say and just started blankly forward, eyes glazed as Sakura fussed about him asking if he was okay. His brain was working into overdrive. Sasuke had already felt enough guilt about what he had done in the past carrying his burden with him everyday. He already knew Sakura had forgiven him for everything that he had done before but it didn't make his anguish lessen any. He shifted his glazed unfocused gaze onto Sakura who flinched as he did but continued fussing about him all the same. That one flinch did not go unnoticed by Sasuke. He lay his head back and blocked out the rest of the world to just a mute buzzing in the background. He closed his eyes and heard Sakura trying to talk to him then frantically yelling at him. He didn't care he just slowly started to drift into a deep sleep.

*In Sasuke's Dream

Sasuke was standing in a room that was dark with some white curtains letting the moon slowly seep in through the windows. He suddenly felt aware of a strange sensations on his body. Ropes. He thought that he was imagining it but no there were ropes tying him. To a post. He was tied to a post he realized. He immediately started think of a way to get out when he heard a scream. He knew it well. Very Well. It was Sakura's.

Sasuke panicked and struggled against the ropes trying to escape to go find Sakura. Strangely the post started to move taking him to where he had heard Sakura's scream coming from. He glided through a door and he was suddenly in a different room. The ropes suddenly got a lot tighter around him. He frantically looked around and suddenly they appeared. Sasuke and Sakura were also here. Somehow Sasuke was watching himself or what he thought to be himself right in front of him. Sasuke was confused until he saw the knife. He immediately knew what would come next. The other Sasuke pinned her up against the wall and ran the knife over her neck agonizingly slow. He then very slowly and very deliberately drew the knife across her neck. Sasuke was now screaming and thrashing against his restraints watching himself kill Sakura. Sakura slumped to the floor and Sasuke let out another shrill scream. He slowly looked up to the other Sasuke. He was smirking down at Sakura. He looked up at Sasuke still smirking and walked over to him.

Sasuke's face was streaming with tears, his throat raw from screaming. The other Sasuke walked over and then proceeded to speak.

"Couldn't save her could you? What a shame." He says the last part mockingly and Sasuke feels hatred he hasn't felt stronger than ever before.

"You and I are the same you know," he continues

"Deep down this is you. She can never trust you because deep down in your very core you enjoy killing people. You relish it. You've killed thousands. What's an extra life to you.?" The other Sasuke maliciously hissed. He walked away slightly back turned to Sasuke

"I know I have. And I regret it everyday." The other Sasuke's head snapped around

"But… I've moved past it, and that women you just killed forgave me. And I will take your life for it you filthy rat!" Sasuke spat out the last words and his bonds finally left him as he lunged at the other Sasuke.

Then he woke up.

He heard the noise of many people crying. He shifted upwards to sit up and felt a familiar warmth next to his hand. Sakura's head was lying on the hospital bed and she was crying. He looked around and the whole Konoha 12 was there crying as well. He reached over and started petting Sakura's hair gently even though he had no clue what was going on. Sakura's head slowly lifted upwards, her eyes rimmed with red and her cheeks tear stained. He smiled gently down at her and she suddenly started sobbing and lunged at him hugging him tight. Sasuke stunned, didn't resist.

"Sak… I love you and all but you're crushing me and please explain what's going on."

Sakura didn't let go but just eased her grip and through sobs muffled by Sasuke's shirt she managed to whisper "You flatlined."

Sasuke slowly pushed her away holding her by her shoulders. He looked her straight in the eye and said "I love you with all my heart. And I will never hurt you. Ever." He pulled her in close and she sat confused.

"I know about the dreams" he muttered. Her breath caught a in her throat. She understood the gravity of his words. She hugged him even tighter and cried.

"I thought you were dead," she sobs. He rubs her back as he holds her close and says "I'm right here. And I'll never leave you or hurt you. Even in your dreams."

He's discharged that day. When they get home and go to sleep neither of them has any nightmares.

Fin.

i hope you enjoyed my story as much as I enjoyed writing it. I will be writing more in the coming future so stay tuned. Thanks for reading!


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